Charlotte's World

Blind alleys

Charlotte — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 00:01:47 +0000

The other night we were driving all over town, because several of us lived in different places. One of the girls was guiding the driver towards her place. We went through a specific area none of us had been before, so the roads weren’t familiar to us, and with loads of one way streets, we had to turn this way and the other to get to where we wanted. Turning left onto a street that brought us in the right direction, we drove towards a bigger crossing road, only to see poles sticking up and separating the two roads. The road we were on appeared to be a blind alley.

What we did:

Without a second thought, we reversed the car, went back and turn left on the next road instead (which by the way led us straight to our goal). No big deal!

Some examples of what we didn’t do:

Stepping out of the car in order to search for hidden buttons or mecanisms to make the poles sink down into the ground. Surely there had to be a trick to get past them…
Driving forward time and time again, not understanding why we couldn’t get past the barrier, and refusing to give up trying
Building up concrete on each sides of the line of poles. Backing and making enough speed to enable the car to “fly” over the barrier (…just to crash straight into the windows on the shop on the other side of the crossing road instead)
Calling on all the doorbells in the area, in order to borrow a chainsaw, dynamite or similar, to remove the poles so we could continue
Leave the car in order to send applications to the government about opening up the blind alley so that we could continue. Spending months/years fighting the case in court, and taking pride in not giving up easily
Thinking that we had failed/were failures for not finding a way to continue on the road we had chosen
Blaming ourselves for having driven onto the blind alley in the first place. Thinking we “should somehow have known better”
Thinking that since we had chosen a blind alley this time, every other road we would try would also be a blind alley, so why not give up even trying
Derstroying the car and the drivers licence, refusing to ever drive again
Sitting down, feeling sorry for ourselves for the long road we would have to drive down in reverse. Thinking it was bound to be harder than driving forward, that we had lost a lot of time, that there were a lot of cars we could potentially crash in on the way backwards
Cursing the road, blaming it for tricking us into thinking it was a perfectably passable road
Camping there for an indefinite period of time so we could have the privilege of being the first car to pass “when” they came to their senses and decided to open up the connection to the other road
Looking at all the parked cars at the side of the road, while seeing no other moving car in sight. Maybe as much as 40-50 cars and car-owners clearly were content with standing still, and only one car had a desire to move forward. Without a doubt we would therefore be the ones in fault for being dissatisfied and wanting to go further. Learning from example, we should understand that the true purpose of any car would be to be parked. We should be happy for having figured that out.
Deciding to move in next door in order save ourselves the frustration of looking for the way to my friend’s place. Who would know; we might be just as happy there as in our original homes anyway…! And in time we might forget why we ever even tried to get home that night in the first place

Any other suggestions of things we didn’t do?

Having fun: Combs and sandwich paper

Charlotte — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 20:38:29 +0000

Among several interesting conversations over the weekend, there was one about one of my favourite subjects, namely marriage counselling (or also thought of as: how to survive as a couple without tearing each other apart, killing each other, etc…). The issue of how time together is spent, came up. Since busyness often gets the best of us, a warning from the scolared ones pointed out the fact that after a while, whenever there finally is a chance for some quality time together, it is often used to deal with challenges in the relationship, with the kids, etc. Therefore they said that it was important to specifically set aside time to just have fun together, to from time to time agree that tonight problems will be put aside, and dealt with tomorrow instead. It’s so logical, after all, I mean the fun part was probably why they got together in the first place, and also what will make them want to stick together and stay in love. Yet so hard if not actively chosen and prioritized. (A rather wide definition of the word ‘fun’ is used here, btw.)

It got me thinking wider than the context of romantic relationships, though. How do I behave in relationship to myself? I’ve always thrived on improving, seeing new insights etc, but sometimes to an unhealthy/too all-consuming extent. And over the last period of time, I’ve been busy and rather stressed about what I want to do with my life, or at least what I want to do next. I have faced my need for more relaxation, free time and time with God, and tried to cut down on work in order to enhance this, but still something has been lacking. The fun-part. How much fun has it been to be with myself? How much crazyness have I put into action lately? Some, of course, since my personality makes it impossible to strangle that completely, but not as much as I would like to. The moment this insight hit me, I decided to put all else aside for the rest of the evening, and have fun.

Pathetically enough, I wasn’t able to pinpoint something I would think of as fun at the spot. But luckily google exists!! Among other things, I was reminded how we played at a comb as kids, using sandwich paper to somehow facilitate this. (Can anyone help, btw?? Is the paper supposed to be put around the comb, or otherwise? And how to hold it? Vertically in front of mouth, or what?? ) In the process of trying to remember how to play on a comb, I happened to make a new discovery. It is actually possible to play on narrow strips of sandwich paper, the same way one plays on blades of grass!! A bit harder, but what an intensely loud and bothering sound for one’s surroundings when it works, hihihi!! (…poor neighbours…) A great source for fun, has to be tried!

I also discovered an article about combs on a site called ikkepedia (meaning: ‘not wikipedia’), which struck my weird sense of humour tonight. Maybe an entertainment for some of my Scandinavian readers? (If you do not find it funny, it’s because you haven’t tried the blowing on sandwich paper strips beforehand…everything turns out to be a lot funnier after that )

Asking God the same questions over and over

Charlotte — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 00:04:31 +0000

As I was chatting to God this morning, and trying to listen to what He might have to say, the only thing impression I got was to go through “old” diaries from this Autumn and see what He had already said. God really seem to share my sense of humour (when relating to me, at least), and the message was delivered as if God was jokingly saying that He wouldn’t bother saying anything more until I bothered listening to what He already had said I totally got why, because so much has been happening over the last few months that I haven’t really had the time to digest it all. But this morning I had really been out for easy solutions, although I had been reminded about this diary re-reading earlier as well. As I got started, I suddenly spent most of the day, without having covered more than July and August, roughly. And, …surprise, surprise…; I was thrilled how much it gave me, and to have found another activity more than fit enough to keep a half-sick person away from boredom.

After a while, I also discovered a few very similar passages, written at two, three or four different occations. In each case I had been asking God some question, which I felt there and then had been answered, only to forget about it and ask the same quiestion(s) all over again some weeks later. I had to smile at myself. How many times would God need to give me the same answer(s) before I would actually listen?! It made me think that sometimes what God says, or what insights I find, really goes in one ear and out the other. It can really be a good idea to go back and remind oneself about how God has been leading in the past, in order to both see the bigger picture, and to get answers to the questions one’s asking.

Listening to God

Charlotte — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 23:41:40 +0000

Over the last few weeks I have been so blessed to experience a reneval in my relationship with God. How much or little I see or hear from God in my everyday life, can really go up and down a lot, and since I’ve started working, I’ve had a hard time getting through to the live relationship I once had. Mainly because of me stressing around too much and being too tired to really listen. Also when God seems distant and one has too much to do; “fixing” the relationship to God can easily feel like another one of the many things I “should” do, and therefore be a source of guilt more than a longing to be with the best friend I’ve ever had. Thankfully God is patient and understanding, and has never stopped the attempt of charming me back (although in the meantime it might seem like nothing is happening, from my point of view). How can be a big variation, let’s just say that God has proven to have a much greater fantasy than any human being who has interest in charming someone.

How it started this time, is hard to say, as one event can be traced back to another, but I heard the story of a leader/pastor who spent an hour each morning in prayer. If he had a really hectic or demanding day in front of him, he spent two, as he would be in even greater need of God that day! I loved the principle, and it really challenged me, as I always seem to have too much to do, and have a hard time balancing my time. The amount of time wasn’t the important part for me, but the faith in daring to put God first (and therefore also oneself first, as time with God is giving self so much!). So even if I had a really hectic day coming up, I decided to put time with God in front of all the things I should be doing, and God showed up!! It’s not always as noticeable for me, and I’m not making a strict habit out of it (as it is more about a relationship than a religious habit, for my sake, and whenever I feel I “have to”, it looses the fun-part for me). But I can say without a doubt that I have heard from and experienced God more real the last couple of months than the last 3-4 years altogether, I think!

A practical way to calm down my own thoughts enough to be able to hear whatever God might have to say, is described in Bill Hybles’ book “Too busy not to pray”, where he uses three steps. 1) Writing shortly in a journal about the day before (as he does this in the morning) 2) Writing down a prayer (=what you want to say to God) 3) Listen. Much can be said about the listening-phase, which I won’t touch in on here and now. Let me just encourage you to not settle for a purely theoretical relationship with God, because the real thing is a 1000 times better and more exciting to live!!

Boredom and self-pity

Charlotte — Sun, 02 Oct 2011 13:28:15 +0000

So, as mentioned in my previous post, I’m down with a heavy cold. After staying in bed for the last couple of days, boredom has kicked in. In the beginning, I actually thought it to have some positive sides, in helping me to relax much more than what I would have been able to do had I been well. But after doing nothing, watching too many “braindead” movies, not even having enough energy to reading a good book, etc, restlessness is getting the best of me. I sooo want to go for a run. Or take a walk through wet Autumn leaves in the park. Or sit at a cafe with a good book. Or climb a mountain (like, in taking a hike to a mountain top, not actually doing rock climbing). Or just sit on a mountain top or by the ocean, all by myself, taking in the freshness, the stillness, enjoying every second of my life as it comes along to me.

I’m spoiled. I really am. These things I usually take for granted. In the midst of my momentarily frustration, I try to remind myself that these privileges are taken away from me only for a few days. And I still have hands and fingers to write this text. I’m still able to transport myself to the restroom without being in need of help (thank God!!), my body is still working as it should, basically, altough somewhat reduced at the moment. It’s just a cold, after all. Many people are not as fortunate as to having “just a cold”. Not to mention that I still have a house and clothes to keep me warm. Still have food, and enough water to drink. I’m writing these things to help me keep some perspective, not sure it’s working yet, though. Maybe it would be good for me to assign myself the homework of writing a long list of all things to be grateful for until I do feel that way. Or maybe just letting it go for now. Guess it’s ok to feel sorry for oneself once in a while as well, and then when I’m bored of the self-pity, I can make a list of good things I wanna do with all my privileges the moment I have them back again instead

Blog reopened

Charlotte — Sun, 02 Oct 2011 12:51:47 +0000

When closing down my blog this summer, it was with the best intentions. Intentions of personalizing it more, making a menu so I would be inspired to share more from the different aspects of my life, etc. But the time to figure out how actually do that, has never presented itself. Guess I also felt a little overwhelmed with the mysteries of CSS… All Autumn I’ve been thinking that I need to reopen the blog anyhow, because there’s so much to write about. But I had to be linked to bed with a heavy cold, feeling bored to death, before I actually managed to do something about it. Let’s hope, for the sake of my faithful readers, that life gets back to exciting again soon, or alternatively that my memory won’t let me down in sharing things from the past. Welcome back

Time

Charlotte — Fri, 08 Apr 2011 18:51:51 +0000

(R:) “You think you’ve all the time in the world, but you haven’t. None of us have. We’re spending it with all the might and indifference of January sales shoppers. A week from now they’ll be crowding the streets, swarming the shops, with open wallets, just throwing all their cash away”

(T.B:) “But you can earn more money, so who cares?”

(R:) “So that makes time more precious, doesn’t it? More precious than money, more precious than anything. You can never earn more time. Once an hour goes by, a week, a month, a year, you’ll never get them back”

(Cecelia Ahern: “The Gift”)

Be sure to spend yours wisely

This moment:

Charlotte — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 13:56:54 +0000

Snow flakes dancing outside the window, sipping hot chocolate while singing Christmas carols along with Mariah Carey (attempting all the high notes and other notes requires a certain volume, of course! Poor neighbours… >:-) ) Sigh, life is gooood

Stars and stuff

Charlotte — Sun, 07 Nov 2010 14:44:02 +0000

Aaah… So much to say, and so little time (…because I have no intention of throwing away one moment too much of this beautiful day sunny autumn day in front of a computer). But life is too wonderful to keep quiet about. One example before I run out to catch a few more sun rays: Over the weekend I was with a bunch of wonderful people on a cabin-trip out in nowhere. Stepping out of the car and looking up into the sky, I completely lost my breath. A few evenings last week, I was sitting in my window, watching the stars. But I had completely forgotten how unbelievably many stars there actually are when one gets away from the city lights. There was no moon either, and the snow has not fallen yet, so the conditions was perfect for seeing all those stars you’re never able to discover otherwise. Sitting in my apartment in the middle of Oslo, I can easily fool myself into thinking that the amount of visible stars can be counted in a few minutes. But standing out in the darkness by the cabin, the awe of the universe once again struck me. And with that, the awe of my Father. In a way it seems crazy to believe that the One I’m used to think of as my close friend, is the creator of all of that. Especially considering the fact that all those blinking stars are representing huge planets, galaxies etc. Well, I’m running out of words, but take a moment yourself and look up at the next given opportunity. Praise be to God for His greatness, abundance and excellency!!!

(PS: Promised to stick to one example of life’s goodness, but I just have to mention another one: I’m going to Paris in two weeks time!!!!!!!!! Wohooo )

A run in the sun (= lots of fun!! :-D )

Charlotte — Sun, 12 Sep 2010 14:49:29 +0000

Thankfully I have functionable feet, and now’s the time to use them!! Time for a well-earned break…will go outside, hunting for as many of those wonderful sunrays and oxygenmolecules as possible…yeeeah!!